Today is my birthday! I turn 41 years old. Yesterday I spent the day with my Mom and Dad. My Mom always makes me my favorite cake; gingerbread with warm applesauce. It is such a lovely treat. I ate so much of it that I went to bed with a tummy ache, just like a proper birthday girl should:)
I know that most people look at New Years as the time for introspection, but for me this happens each year around my birthday. I begin to evaluate and take stock. As I first started to get older and approach "middle age" (YIKES!! Did I just say that!), I would lament the passage of time. I took the attitude of Dorthy, locked in the Wicked Witch's tower, watching the hourglass sand run out. As I searched the crystal ball for assistance, I would declare, "I'm frightened Auntie Em, I'm frightened!" But I have come to realize that you really can't place much stock in a round smoke filled piece of glass, no matter how lovely it is.
Birthdays are an occasion to celebrate who we are, not what the passage of time has done to us, but rather the journey itself. To look and declare not fear but strength and assurance, to know that each day is an opportunity for growth and experimentation. That through each reflective thought comes valuable knowledge.
For me it marks a time for both self acceptance and challenge...this is who I am now, what do I want to be tomorrow? I am a huge proponent of personal growth. There can be nothing more depressing to me than stagnation, the same old same old.
So, I make my lists. The first list is: Things I have accomplished along the way, things I am so grateful for..... From this list I draw assurance and a sense of thankfulness.
The second list consists of the tasks I still want to accomplish, the direction I want to travel in..... From this list I gain resolve, hope and a sense of excitement.
OK, OK, I know this is probably way to deep for your morning cuppa. You just wanted to pop in and say "Hello" not start the long process of self-examination:)
But I feel it is so important to take the time to look around at who we are, to give ourselves credit for the persons we have become and to admit, if only to ourselves, that there is more that we could do, more that we want to do. Layers of ourselves that we still want to explore and develop.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.